A family shot at the Colorado Zoo today
The view of the Mountains from Richard's front yard
Snapshot of one side of our new bedroom
Snapshot of our living room ( I got an aqua wall )
One wall in Jasey's room
Our deck!
Our 1st picture of Colt....I miss him so much :(Life has been crazy for the Bell family for the last few months. I have felt so many emotions; sad, happy, depressed & overwhelmed. When I last posted in April I talked about having no energy, rollercoaster emotions and etc. I went to 3 different doctors before my Gynecologist finally diagnosed me with Post Partum Depression. Only problem with that was Jasey was 13 months old....so I had lived 13 months depressed, sad and angry with no help. I was so upset that my family doctor didn't see this and suggested I take Adipex--a pill that is basically a smaller dose of speed. He thought it would increase my energy and help me shed the rest of baby weight! Isn't a doctor trained to see those symptoms and realize what's wrong? Within seeing Dr Boyle, my gyno, for 3 minutes she had diagnosed me. She said I had 6 of the 8 signs of PPD: the only 2 signs I didn't have was anger towards my child & suicidal thoughts (thank goodness!) She put me on Prozac and it has helped wonders. If you've never had depression let me tell you it's so hard! I felt embarassed to tell anyone; one reason it took me 3 months to post about it. When I told my mom she was so ashamed; she told me not to tell my dad! It has been so hard. My husband has been wonderful and really helped me out with Jasey and around the house! I just had to keep telling myself that depression isn't something I could help! Depression is a chemical imbalance in your body; it's when your saratonine levels are out of whack! I'm doing much better now and so glad to have everything figured out!
On top of that we moved and are enjoying our new house much better! We are still just renting but we moved out of a small apartment into a house in the country with a huge yard. Jasey loves it; having a place for a pool, sandbox and all the toys she wants. We have a huge deck so it has been so nice to sit outside and BBQ and relax outside. We even got to camp out in the backyard in the tent under the stars.
Life has gotten better for us. Jason finally got his first weekend off in April. He hadn't had a full weekend off since he was on paternity leave last year when Jasey was born. All his OT had really taken a toll on our relationship. We saw eachother for maybe 30 minutes a day on my lunch break. Things are so much better and having the new house has made our stress levels go way down.
Sadly, last Wednesday, our 1st baby, Colt William, our cocker spaniel, was ran over and killed. It has been very hard for us. I always had animals growing up on the farm, but was used to losing them to coyotes or other large animals. Colt was our baby and slept on my head and protected me every night when Jason was at work. It's still hard to even think about not having him around. I cannot believe someone is heartless enough to run over a small dog and leave him to die. The worst part is our neighbor was outside to witness it. How could you just run over that dog and never even brake when there are people outside witnessing you do it? I know with time the hurt will go away but I miss him so much! I hate that Jasey won't get to grow up with him. They were best friends!!! Jason and I always talked about her growing up and him sleeping with her and her sharing her ice cream cone with him. I still think of the cute memories I have of them together and hope one day after Jason and I have had time to heal we'll be able to get another dog for Jasey!
Right now as I sit typing I'm in Colorado. Jason, Jasey & I all got away for a family vacation to Colorado Springs, Colorado. My best friend from High School, Richard, is in the army and is stationed here at Fort Carson. We came out to visit and get away from Missouri and stay with him and his family. We've had so much fun and still have another day here. It's been very good for us 3 to get away as a family. Sometimes I wish we could move away and start fresh, but I can't imagine moving so far away from my family. But I do love it here; I could definitely get used to Colorado!!!
